….This is an industry that is destroyingfamilies and children for profit. Families are the building block of civilization,If we destroy them we will destroy our society. Men and women need to stand together to fix this abusive system.

Men are fighting back.

Men's and father's issues are starting to boil.

There are literally hundreds of men's and father's organizations forming around the nation. Men are demanding to be heard and demanding justice on a variety of issues involving family law, divorce, illegitimacy, parenting time and child support. Men are no longer willing to accept being treated as second-class citizens when it comes to their parental rights. They are now demanding to be heard and are fighting for justice equality.

Fathers are essential

Men and fathers believe that love and nurturing from dad is not just important but essential in raising children. Fathers are demanding consideration concerning their parental rights and are no longer willing to give up their ownership and control of their children to government agencies, mediators, courts, or judges. Parents are the owners of their children and not government agencies or family law courts. Courts only get jurisdiction if the children need to be rescued.

As fathers, men believe that they are totally capable of being involved parents and capable of deciding how to raise their children. Most fathers want equal parental rights and access to their children. They want discretion on how they raise and support their children and anything less is unacceptable.

Divorce may be a tool to separate two parents from each other and dissolve a marriage, but it is not supposed to separate parents from their children. A man's parental rights are sacred and they are not forfeited in cases of divorce or illegitimacy.


It is up to the parents to decide these issues and not the courts. In cases of divorce both parents have a right and obligation to present a parenting plans to establish how the children should be raised after the marriage is ended. If possible they should work together in order to develop a fair, just and hopefully equitable plan. If there is a fair and equitable parenting plan as to how to share parenting and raise the children the courts should not be involved other than to approve the plan. Fathers should not give up jurisdiction over their children to gender biased family courts. Children need access and the involvement of both parents in their lives. Shared parenting should be the first standard and starting point in custody arrangements, then adjustments can be made based in specific needs and circumstances, anything less is not acceptable.


In cases of illegitimacy men are demanding equal or equivalent rights and choices as those currently available to women confronted with an unplanned pregnancy. Women have the right to choose to be or choose not to be parents. They can choose to have a child or decline to be a parent. They can choose abortion, adoption or abandonment if they don't want to be a parent. Men are given no options or considerations concerning choosing to be or not be a parent. Even when that choice is to be a parent his desires are not considered.

If a woman chooses to be a single parent she is supported in her choice, and actually rewarded for being an unwed single mother. She is entitled by government policies, and aided by government agencies to hold the man, (sperm donor, bio-dad) financially liable for her choice to be a single mother. While we certainly expect women who actually experience the pregnancy to be protecting herself from an unwanted pregnancy we also need to stress to men the importance of protecting themselves from unwanted pregnancy and also the liability that may come from it.

Men whom are denied responsible considerations or choices are held financially liable. Men are being held liable for up to and beyond 20 years of financial liability for having consensual sex with no intention of making a child. He has committed no crime or accepted any contract to be a father yet he is going to be held liable for thousands of dollars of child support based on a woman's individual sole choice.

Just as an example based on $500.00 per month this forced child support liability would be $120,000 over 20 years. This does not take into consideration medical insurance or any other expensed put upon him for being a sperm donor.

Child Support:

If child support is to be a consideration from one parent to the other this financial consideration should be for the children and not the other parent. And it should only reflect the basic needs of the child or children and not the earning ability of the parent. No government agency tells intact married families how much to spend on their children. As long as the children are being taken care of money should not be an issue.

In many cases the deep pockets child support awards based on the non-custodial parents earnings or earning ability goes far beyond a child's needs. It should be noted there are no accounting requirements connected to child support awards in order to show where the money goes. Nor are there any financial requirements for the custodial parent to contribute a fair share for supporting herself or the children. The whole system is based on support only from the non-custodial parent. Some custodial parents make no financial contributions to the household. Instead they utilize alimony and child support as their sole source of income. In addition child support is not tax deductible for the non-custodial parent nor is it considered taxable income for the recipient, as the laws are currently written.

The government encourages divorce and illegitimacy:

We need to realize the current government policies encourage both divorce and illegitimacy by financially rewarding women who make these choices. If the system were fair and based on equal rights and equal obligations almost all of the incentives for divorce and illegitimacy would be eliminated.

If these systems were fair and just there would be a profound decrease in both divorce and illegitimacy. There would be less need for family court litigation or government agencies meddling in family matters.

There should be a flip-flop test for these matters. If the parenting plan or judgment were reversed between men and women, and men were the custodial parent, would the arrangements still be considered fair and just?

The best way to protect our children's futures is to protect the parental rights of both parents.


By John Buethe.

Director of M.A.D.MEN UNITED (Men Against Discrimination)

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